Corporate Compost

Expedition up Mt Promotion, Under a You're Wasting Your Life Moon

From my new art project: TV History Moments Remembered

Who invited THIS infinite motherfucker?!

Diagnosis: Disgusting

Y'see, because they're SALTWATER fish! Cutting down on the salt would kil--AHH WHO NEED'S YUH?!

ass ceiling

Work with what you got

In the end, he was nothing more than a pile of meat and Men's Wearhouse

a lil' dopp'll do ya

Being a jerk is rude, morons!

Monterey Cypress, Central Coast CA under a Crescent Moon

werd salid

advice

unguarded

Dump

3 lights over Oyster Bay, Long Island.

This is looking North across Oyster Bay/Bayville out to the Long Island Sound/Connecticut in distance.

I grew up in Oyster Bay. One night when I was a kid, I saw a strange flying light over nearby Cold Spring Harbor . So ONE of these lights is BASED ON A TRUE STORY. The other two are just 100% made up bullshit for art porpoises.

Spirits of Nature and Business Under a Kissy Kissy Moon

master debater

The art of polite discourse isn't dead, it's just unconscious and has simply pooped its pants.

Cedar swamp and water spirit

Treat your moderate to severe D.B.S.- Ask your doctor about prescription strength Theresnocurejustlearntolivewithit (tm)

Mouth of Affidavit Creek Under An On LSD Moon

Meet me where The Business Mountains meet the sea.

Once every 37 months, the moon doesn't approve of you dating, PERIOD.

Another watercolor from The Guy in the Tie

Watercolor from The Guy in the Tie

T.C.O.B.M.

Headwaters of Affidavit Creek Under an About to Say Something Moon

Headwaters of Affidavit Creek, Under a Disappointed Moon

Bless his businessy little heart

Success is just a rent away

A Barf Among the Pines

The brains of the operation

Eyes Nose What You Did Last Summer

Please be careful when camping in Grand Financial Meetings National Park!!!

...I wouldn't worry though- some people also say he doesn't still walk these hills, so...point is you owe me money for this story.

Business Headshots: Diego Businessosa

If Diego Businessosa's business headshot taught Suzan one thing, it was that in the world of business there are two kinds of people: the movers, the shakers, and the DETAIL ORIENTED ONES!

all returns are final

Sun Sue

Hire the ocean. Give the sky an unpaid internship.

NYPD Spew: Barf Patrol

It aint easy bein' diseasey! #businessdemons #comics #officepolitics

A photo posted by Lucas Held (@houseofrelax) on Jan 25, 2016 at 1:14pm PST

Spit it out, you stupid time travelers!!!

AVAILABLE NOW! BUY! BUY! BUY!!!!

Available NOW! The Guy in the Tie is on Amazon Kindle or the Kindle app on ipad/iphone!

FINALLY, a picture book for GROWNUPS with busy JOB SITUATIONS and complicated CHOLESTEROL DEADLINES! THIS IS VERY VERY MEDIUM NEWS PEOPLE!!! GET MILDLY EXCITEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Warning: this book is super fun and will awaken your inner child and give it give it a savings bond (figuratively).

New ebook, available very soon!!!!

Warning: very soon, you'll be able to download my passion project, The Guy in the Tie, via Amazon Kindle. It's gunna be super inexpensive, and hopefully you won't even need a Kindle device to view it!

It's my version of The Cat in the Hat, in which some bored lil' shits get visited by a magicalish bald businessman. It's about life and magic and jobs and nature and commuting and the universe and pit stains and numbers crunching and I'm pretty proud of it!

Dr. Seuss would be rolling in his grave if he didn't like this book. Right? Well, I've been monitoring the subsoil sound waves over the good Dockty's burial grave and I'm happy to report: BARELY ANY ROLLING SOUNDS!

More info coming soon!