A Succinct Character: The Dad Who is Morally Opposed to Diarrhea

(bang bang bang) What’s going on in there Jeremy!?!
...Not in my house you're not !!!

(trying to turn knob) Unlock this door! Unlock this door this instant!

I hear what you're doing in there you little sicko!

Marilyn, call Father Thompson!…and also call THE POLICE!
...'Collywobbles' my ass! He's a disgusting little shit AND I WANT HIM OUT OF THIS HOUSE!

(trying doorknob again) YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF, JEREMY!

(storms off, only to return seconds later)…You deserve not making JV baseball, you hear me!?! You deserve it!!!