Dear TED Talks,
Mr. Burpovitch's TED Talk last week was NOT GOOD. First of all, he NAILED AN ACTUAL POSTER to the flat screen! When this audience member pointed out that he was RUINING the flat screen he threatened to give me a "knuckle parmesan sandwich". He then proceeded to give a TED Talk that consisted of ONE SENTENCE, spending the remaining time reading silently to himself from a book about butts!!! He smelled like urine and I'm pretty sure he stole a fake plant from the lobby. In short: THIS WAS A TERRIBLE TED TALK!!!!
Professor Bambam Bigelow, PHD