To The Guy Who Just Shot Me In A Knife Fight – (transcribed as it occurred)

(bang!)


-Oof!!!

...HHHHHEYYYYYYYYY!

Where-where'd you get that?!?

That!

That gun! Where'd you get that gun?

Why do I ask? Oh, I dunno, maybe cuz I was under the impression this was a knife fight! Meaning we circle each other, while nervously switching our knives from our right to left hands. Then someone lunges & the other guy pulls back, then the other guy lunges & the first guy pulls back.

I mean, you challenged me to a knife fight, I figured you'd know what a knife fight was, but…

Ooo…owy owy…owch…

It-it just doesn't seem really fair…that you'd challenge me to a knife fight…we get all our respective friends out here at Blind Man's Bluff, and then you pull this garbage!

And I'm sorry, that's what it is! Garbage!

Why did we bother dressing in red leather jackets if we weren't gunna knife fight? You think I tie bandannas around my wrists and ankles for my health!?! It was for the knife fight, you jerk!

I can't believe I went out and spent $15 on a new switchblade spring for this! Yeah, I mean its always good to have a smooth action on your switchblade...but its like buying a new bathing suit for the beach, but then when you get to the ocean a Puerto Rican seagull shoots you in the stomach.

I mean, do you see where I'm coming from here? Am I making sense?

Y'know what? Apology NOT accepted. Talk to me later when I cool down. Right now I honestly don't even want to see you Carlos.