Sunday, June 8, 2008

The Filthy Mouthed Naturalist: Snowshoe Hare

Salutations cunts,

The wonders of winter are truly upon us. Today, on my morning hike through the shitty ceder swamps behind my cabin, I startled the fucking shit out of a perfectly camouflaged snowshoe hare.

It truly is a stunning creature. As white as an old Italian lady's vaginal bush and twice as rare to see; snowshoe hares have now changed from their brown summer coat to a brilliant white winter fur. They use this camouflage to hide from their chief predators, dickhead bobcats and scumbag lynxes. All of which, by the way, can go ahead and gargle my naturalist balls!

Consider yourself lucky if you have the good fortune to actually see a snowshoe hare. 53 years ive spent scouring the winter's woods of the northeast, and only twice have my eyes gotten their metaphorical dicks sucked by this rare member of the rabbit family. Perhaps this winter wont be so fucking shitty afterall.

Keep fucking nature in the ass,

Regibald Q. Parsnidge
The Filthy Mouthed Naturalist

1 comment:

Lucie said...

"I startled the fucking shit out of a perfectly camouflaged snowshoe hare" has got to be one of the better lines ever written by a filthy-mouthed naturalist.