(Best if spoken to self in Randy Newman’s wetarded sounding voice.)
Hahaha! oh no Bam! Da nice afternoon you planned for your mom was all a setup! What’s your uncle vito doing dere!?! What’s dat big fat disaster doing?
Hahaha Uncle Vito got naked! Whys dat guy naked he’s gwoss!
Now Bam’s mom is scweamin cuz her garden party is ruined! Uh oh and here comes Bam, he was hidin’ the whole time! Oh no Bam, don’t get into a carefully choreographed food fight! You’re makin’ a spectacle of stuff!
Oh no Bam, don’t sit your mom down and calmly explain t' her dat you don’t love her! Oh bwother! Don't-Don’t dwop trau den spway her with diarrhea! Baaam!!! Tee hee!
Hey, I tink I’ll write a song about dis:
Dere once was a bug and his name was Bam, and his pawents were mad cuz he was such a twickster! But he got paid money for bein such a twickster, so they weren’t really mad, they were just pwentendin.
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