Hello and thank you for stopping in to view this exciting new home, available at a competitive price. The Automated Realtor audio tour will begin at the tone.(beep)
As you may have noticed, this house smells like raisins. Every room. Raisins. No one knows why. Some houses just smell like raisins. In fact, many buyers see it as a plus.
Monticello is a raisin house. Frank Lloyd Wright's Falling Water is also a raisin house.
Please make your way through the foyer toward the kitchen. Still smell raisins? Of course you do. You will find the consistency comforting.
This is the kitchen.
Dishwasher. Viking range. Raisin smell. Granite counters. You can cook anything you want in this kitchen! You can almost smell the Thanksgiving raisins now. Mmm.
Please follow the arrows up the stairs to the master bedroom. You will notice that the stairwell smells of raisins. This is terrific.
Welcome to the master bedroom. The brilliant white carpeting is subtly accented by the thuggish hint of raisins. You definitely want to buy this house.
Imagine convincing your friends that your new home used to belong to some sort of raisin tycoon or perhaps to one of the fictional R&B singing California Raisins. "This is where they found the famous raisin, dead on the toilet," you may tell your boss as you proudly show him around. I hope you like promotions! And raisins!
1 comment:
Hilarious.
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