Monday, February 12, 2007
Vlad Tepes on dating.
I recently had the pleasure of sitting down with the bloodthirsty 15th century Walachian prince, Vlad Tepes (AKA Vlad The Impaler, so named for his favorite method of execution) at a trendy downtown tapas bar to get his take on the do's and dont's of dating in New York.
LUCAS: Enjoying your tapas, Tepes? Haha, those words sound ali-
VLAD (to armed guard): Impale this idiot on a stake made out of bees.
LUCAS: Hey! Get off me! Get off! Whats that buzzing sound? Bees? How'd you get them to form a spike like that- agh! No! Ow! Theyre stinging me while they stab me as a whole! Stop! Oh God no!!! What are your favourite hotspots to pick up chicks in the meatpacking district!?!?! Arggg!!!!!!!!!!!
VLAD (nibbling on tapas): Shhhh...
LUCAS: (Gurgle)...Whats...a player...gotta do...to keep from...getting played?
VLAD(to armed guard): Feed him to the pigs when he stops breathing.
EPILOGUE: I escaped somehow.