Friday, October 3, 2008

Improvised Prank Phone Call

I just completed a level 601 prank telephoning class at the Chi Chi Ramirez School of Improv Gigglers. Here’s the transcript of my thesis prank on an unsuspecting sucker:

SUCKER: Hello?
ME: Hi, how are you?
SUCKER: I’m OK, who’s this?
ME: It’s uh…what’s it called…
SUCKER: Sorry?
ME: What?
SUCKER: I said, “sorry?”
ME: Um…for what?
SUCKER: …Who is calling please?
ME: Oh right! It’s uh, what’s it called? It’s this guy-It’s this nebbish calling.
ME: Y’know, this nebbishy…or y’know what? Scratch that. I’m this Middle Eastern taxi fellow…but my name is like, an American one! Haha?
SUCKER: I…don’t understand.
ME: You- hmm………………….I’ll call you back later.

(5 minutes later)

SUCKER: Hello?
ME: Stanley, my name is Stanley….
SUCKER: (silent)
ME: But I’m like, Arabian.
SUCKER: (soft breathing)
ME: Ahahaha, gotcha! You’ve been prank telephoned, asshole.
SUCKER: OK. Is that it?
ME: Mmm, yeah that’s- oh wait! I almost forgot, I’m gunna kidnap your children!
SUCKER: What?!
ME: Yeah, I’m gunna kidnap your children, Clarissa and Brian, right? I’m gunna kidnap them.
SUCKER: That’s not funny. Kidnapping isn’t funny.
ME: …What about a whoopee cushion just for queefs? Is that funny?
SUCKER: I dunno. A little.
ME: OK, so we’ll go with that instead.
SUCKER: Leave my children alone.
ME: Yessir. Take care now.


Mo Diggs said...

Listen to the Best Show on WFMU (podcast or radio version). This loser called James is essentially the real life version of this hapless bozo.

Joe said...

You, sir, are a hilariously funny blogger...whom I just discovered minutes ago via a link I already forgot.

Anyway, keep it up. Nice reads on here...